THE 10 THINGS YOU THINK YOU CAN DO WHEN YOU'RE
DRUNK
1) Pull any woman in the room.
2) Beat any man in the room in a fight.
3) Do the Lambada.
4) Have a coherent, in-depth discussion about politics,
the trouble with women, the England football manager, etc.
5) Stop dual-carriageway traffic just by holding
your hand up.
6) Persuade 24-hour shop owners to sell you alcohol
after 11pm.
7) Evade apprehension by officers of the law.
8) Fall down three flights of stairs without hurting
yourself.
9) Do an impression of Riverdance on a narrow windows
ledge five stories Above the street.
10) Find your house.